Old Weather Forum

Posted: **Sun Sep 24, 2023 7:46 pm**

"I like your game but we have to change the rules."
"I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation."
-- G. B. Shaw
"I only touch base with reality on an as-needed basis!"
-- Royal Floyd Mengot (Klaus)
"I predict that today will be remembered until tomorrow!"
"I see a good deal of talk from Washington about lowering taxes. I hope they do get 'em lowered enough so people can afford to pay 'em."
-- Will Rogers
"I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck."
-- Graffito in Los Angeles
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
-- Steven Wright

Posted: **Sun Oct 01, 2023 8:32 pm**

"I suggest you locate your hot tub outside your house, so it won't do too much damage if it catches fire or explodes.
First you decide which direction your hot tub should face for maximum solar energy.
After much trial and error, I have found that the best direction for a hot tub to face is up."
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
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"I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."
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"I thought you were trying to get into shape."
"I am. The shape I've selected is a triangle."
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"I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes.
It's about Russia."
-- Woody Allen
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"I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure."
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"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere
near the place."
-- Steven Wright
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"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did.
I said I didn't know."
---- Mark Twain

Posted: **Mon Oct 02, 2023 12:18 am**

Posted: **Sun Oct 08, 2023 8:30 pm**

"I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums."
-- Steven Wright
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"I went to the race track once and bet on a horse that was so good that it took seven others to beat him!"
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"I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
There's a knob called `brightness', but it doesn't work."
-- Gallagher
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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
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"A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous."
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"I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me."
-- Hunter S. Thompson
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"Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy."
*

Posted: **Mon Oct 09, 2023 12:46 am**

Posted: **Thu Oct 12, 2023 4:28 pm**

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/ ... 23212a5b72

I wanted to include this poem "October" of Robert Frost's in the Scrabble page but didn't find a place for frost, poem anything near close- so I have included it here. As I began to understand poetry better, I realize he writes Haiku- he just happens to be long-winded about it.

Posted: **Sun Oct 15, 2023 9:27 pm**

"Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy."
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"About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends."
-- Herbert Hoover
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"Absence makes the heart go wander."
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"You can lead a horse to water;
get him to float on his back & you`ve got something."
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"When all else fails, read the documentation!"
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"There's little worse than being peerless in a peer-review system."
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"When in darkness or in doubt, Run in circles, scream and shout."

Posted: **Sun Oct 22, 2023 7:12 pm**

"If you wish to succeed, consult three old people."
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You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
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"On a clear disk you can seek forever."
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Let him who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
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"Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate."
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"Love is a long term investment, not a quick return loan!"
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"Dachshunds are really small crocodiles with fur."
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Posted: **Sun Oct 22, 2023 8:17 pm**

Especially number 3.

Posted: **Sun Oct 22, 2023 8:42 pm**

Especially number 1.

Posted: **Sun Oct 29, 2023 8:56 pm**

"Treat her like a lady and she'll always bring you home."
Adm. Leonard McCoy
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"The writer does the most who gives the reader the most
knowledge and takes from him the least."
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"Man's mind stretched by a new idea never goes back to it's
original dimensions."
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"If there is a 50-50 chance, 95% of the time you will choose
the wrong one."
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"To drift is to be in hell, to be in heaven is to steer."
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"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inhibit the earth."
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"Ocean: a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world
made for man...who has no gills!"

Posted: **Sun Nov 05, 2023 8:59 pm**

"When I grow up, I want to be an honest lawyer so things like that can't happen!"
Richard Nixon as a child, on the Teapot Dome Scandal
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"God gives us relatives...thank goodness we can pick our friends!"
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"Apt words have power to suage the tumors of a troubled mind."
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"Clear writers, like fountains, do not seem so deep as they are; the turbid look the most profound."
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"It is not the hand but the understanding of a man that may be said to write."
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"Science is a collection of successful recipes."
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"The art of statesmanship is to foresee the inevitable and to
expedite its occurrence."

Posted: **Sun Nov 12, 2023 9:58 pm**

"To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it."
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"All things are difficult before they are easy."
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"Life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forward."
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"Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament."
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"It is so much easier to suggest solutions when you don't know much about the problem."
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"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain; and most fools do."
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"TACT: The ability to make guests feel at home when you wish that they were!"

Posted: **Sun Nov 12, 2023 10:04 pm**

Excellent

Posted: **Mon Nov 13, 2023 1:59 am**

Posted: **Tue Nov 21, 2023 6:58 pm**

sorry these are bit late.

"HANGOVER: the wrath of grapes."
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"TACT: The ability to make guests feel at home when you wish
that they were!"
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"ALIMONY: The cost of leaving."
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"BACHELOR: A man who never makes the same mistake once."
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"RADICAL: A conservative out of a job."
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"The wages of sin are unreported."
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"To eat is human; to digest divine."

Posted: **Tue Nov 21, 2023 7:43 pm**

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2023 7:17 pm**

"When Eve arrived, this was no longer a man's world."
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"Most self-made men worship their creators."
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"Hope is a good breakfast, but a bad supper."
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"Things too stupid to be spoken are sung."
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"Be an individualist. He who follows another is always behind."
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"A sharp tongue and a dull mind are usually found in the same head!"
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"No one hates a job well done!"
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Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2023 7:31 pm**

Posted: **Sun Nov 26, 2023 7:53 pm**

Old Weather Forum

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