This week's fun lines, sayings or quotes.

[pommystuart]

Activity is the politician's substitute for achievement.

[Michael]

[Randi]

[pommystuart]

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.

[Michael]

[pommystuart]

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

[Randi]

Sadly true.

[Michael]

[pommystuart]

To save server space I have decided to do a weeks worth in one go from now on.

1. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until they know absolutely everything about nothing.
2. Any contract drawn in more than 50 words contains at least one loophole.
3. Any given computer program, when running, is obsolete.
4. It's everyday living that kills you.Ask your children what they want for dinner only if they are buying.
5. Bad weather forecasts are more often right than good ones.
6. Basic research is what you do when you don't know what you are doing.
7. Be a corporate good citizen, hire the morally handicapped.

[pommystuart]

1. All Warranties expire on payment of invoice.
2. Although I may disagree with what you say, i will defend to the death your right to hear me tell you how wrong you are.
3. Always forgive your enemies - nothing else annoys them as much.
4. Bosses come and bosses go, but a good secretary lasts forever.
5. Celibacy is not hereditary.
6. Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable. You can rely on that.
7. Da trouble wit computers is, day got no sense of humor.

[pommystuart]

1. Confidence is the feeling you had before you knew better.
2. Crisis management works beautifully until an actual crisis occurs.
3. Don't be afraid to take a big step. You cannot cross a chasm in two small steps.
4. Diogenes is still searching.
5. Don't worry about what other people are thinking of you. They're to busy worrying about what you are thinking of them.
6. Education confers understanding, knowledge and competence; schools confer degrees.
7. He who dies with the most toys, wins!

[Randi]

Particularly good batch

[pommystuart]

I have 180 A4 pages of them so I hope some will be good.

[pommystuart]

1. He who does many things makes many mistakes, but never makes the biggest mistake of all - doing nothing.
2. He who lives on hope has a slender diet indeed.
3. He who would pursue revenge should first dig two graves.
4. Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
   - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 1911
5. Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
   - Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" 1911
6. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance
   - Derek Bok. 1978
7. It is possible to store the mind with a million facts and still be entirely uneducated.
   - Alec Bourne, "A Doctor's Creed"

[pommystuart]

1. I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
   Ashleigh Brilliant
2. It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.
   Winston Churchill.
3. Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on.
   Winston Churchill.
4. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
   Confucious
5. Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
   Lawrence Couglin
6. Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days.
   An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: A meaning full friend - or a meaning full day.
   The 14th Dalai Lama.
7. In times like these it is helpful to remember that there have always been times like these.
   Paul harvey

[pommystuart]

1. A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.
2. A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.
   Carl Sandburg
3. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
   Mark twain
4. A billion here, a couple of billion there - first thing you know it adds up to be real money.
   Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen
5. A bird in the bush usually has a friend in there with him.
6. A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
7. A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.

[Michael]

From Dr. Who:

• “You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common: they don’t alter their views to fit the facts; they alter the facts to fit their views.”
• “You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them, and five minutes later they’re dull as a brick? But then there’s other people, and you meet them and you think ‘Not bad, they’re OK,’ and then you get to know them, and their face sort of becomes them, like their personality’s written all over it, and they just they turn into something so beautiful.”
• “We all change, when you think about it. We’re all different people all through our lives. And that’s OK, that’s good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be.”
• “There’s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive, wormhole refractors. You know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.”
• “People like us, we go on too long. We forget what matters. The last thing we need is each other. We need the mayflies. You see the mayflies, they know more than we do. They know how beautiful and precious life is because it’s fleeting.”
• “You know that in 900 years in time and space, I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
• “For some people, small, beautiful events are what life is all about.”
• “As we learn about each other, so we learn about ourselves.”
• “Love is not an emotion. It’s a promise.”

[pommystuart]

1. A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern
   Edgar A, Shoaff
2. A diplomat is someone who can convince his wife she'd look stout in a fur coat.
3. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
4. A fool must now and then be right by chance.
5. A celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness
6. A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
7. A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.

[pommystuart]

1. A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.
   -- D. Gries
2. A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
   rearranging their prejudices.
   -- William James
3. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
4. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
5. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
6. Heavy, adj.: Seduced by the chocolate side of the force.
7. Help me, I'm a prisoner in a Fortune cookie file!

[pommystuart]

• I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
  make it shorter.
  -- Blaise Pascal
• I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
  -- Oscar Wilde
• I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked
  at in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
  -- Poul Anderson
• I haven't lost my mind; I know exactly where I left it.
• I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
  -- Art Leo
• I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
• I like being single. I'm always there when I need me.
  -- Art Leo